If i come over, it means nothing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
