if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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