All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
