I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
