Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
