It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
