You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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