So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
