I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
