yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize