Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
