My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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