it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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