He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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