I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
