guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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