I think I died a long time ago.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
