Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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