would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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