i jhust puked up my retainher.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
