I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
