Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
