Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
