I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
