I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
