Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize