don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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