I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
