I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
