I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
