i need an iv and a liver transplant
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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