Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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