I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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