Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
