Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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