I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
