Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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