Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
