On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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