Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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