Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
