I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
