she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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