You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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