hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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