So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
