Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
