Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
