It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
