North Korea, Best Korea!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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