Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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