I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize