I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
