we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
