I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
