plz talk dirty to me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
