I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
