If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
