I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
