I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
