babies were throwing up all over the place
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
