no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
