Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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