dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize