So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
