i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
