i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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