i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize