apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
