he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
