Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
