Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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